words | Chloe Buress
Chloe graduated from Desert Vista High School in 2016. She's nineteen, dabbles in makeup and fashion, loves to travel and be creative. When she grows up, she wants to be "That Cat Lady."
My motto in life is, “Fake it ‘till you make it.” It rings true for every situation I’m put in, for every season of life, for every age. What does this mean? It means pretend like you know what you’re doing, pretend like you have it all together, because all people can see is how you present yourself.
When I was fourteen, I decided that I was going to be confident. But I didn’t just wake up one morning and BAM...confidence. It was something I had to learn and grow into, and train myself to be. The following were the steps I took to become the confident, self-assured woman I am today.
Posture. Posture, posture, POSTURE!
Your posture says a lot about you. If you are turned inward with your head down, you look closed-off and insecure. By opening up your body language, you seem to exude a sense of power and confidence. How do you do this? Easy, roll back your shoulders, straighten your back, and hold your chin up high. By opening up your chest and lifting up your head, you look fearless—but most importantly, you will feel fearless.
When you start to think negatively about yourself—STOP. Catch yourself and turn your thoughts around. Remind yourself of things you're good at and features or traits you like about yourself. By stopping your negative thoughts right in their tracks and moving forward with positive ones, you’ll start to change your entire mindset. Listen to the good and ignore the bad.
Letting go. Let go of people or things that make you feel anything but confident. This means taking a look at aspects of your life where you are unhappy or discouraged. If someone specifically is tearing you down constantly or making you feel awful about yourself, you need to let them go. By “letting them go” I mean talking to them and communicating with them your feelings, and if they don’t change or don’t care then you let them go. You block their number, unfriend them on social media, and basically delete them from your life. This can be hard, trust me, I’m not saying it will be as easy as deleting an Instagram post— people aren’t Instagram posts—it can be rough. When I did this, I had to let go of my best friend, because all she did was treat me like a second-class friend. It was hard, and lonely at times, but the payoff was worth it. I didn’t have close friends for awhile because she had been my only one for a long time, but once I ripped off that band-aid, I grew to befriend myself and learned that it was okay to have a chance to grow and mature alone. So if toxic people or situations are clouding up your life, maybe you need to reassess, cleanse, and start new.
Dress confidently. By dressing confidently, you’ll gain more self-esteem. By wearing clothing that makes you feel good, you’ll look at yourself more positively. Clothes don’t have to be expensive to feel good it. Try second-hand stores and be creative. How your clothes fit is more important than price. Don’t forget that showing a lot of skin, is not confidence.
Music can pump you up and change your mood in an instant. Listen to music that gives you a little extra pep or try it when you're feeling down. As my girl Demi Lovato says, “What’s wrong with being confident?”
Remember that EVERYONE on planet earth has insecurities, and you’re not the only one. Everybody has self-doubts and hesitations, but by “talking back” to those doubts and negative thoughts, you're choosing to believe in yourself and not all the other voices that tear you down. Care about what YOU think and what YOU like, not what others think, because their opinions don’t matter, all that matters is your opinion of yourself.