10 Ways To Build Self-Respect
10 WAYS TO BUILD SELF-RESPECT
WORDS | CORINNA COOKE
The most important thing a person can have is self-respect. When you treat yourself with respect, others will view you and treat you accordingly. A woman who respects herself is an ideal employee, friend, and companion. You deserve all the great things that life has to offer, and that starts with treating yourself with respect.
1. Learn To Say No. This applies to every aspect of your life. Anything - and I do mean anything - you don’t feel comfortable with, say No! If someone wants you to do something that you don’t want to do, say No. Don’t give up your personal time to make someone else happy – if you don’t want to go to lunch or to the movies or to the mall, just say No. When you feel like someone is taking advantage of you, don’t grin and bear it - say No.
2. Set Boundaries. When you are clear with yourself on what your boundaries are, it becomes easier to enforce them. Set boundaries that don’t let others steal your time. Set boundaries that rule how people can and cannot speak to you. Set boundaries about physical violence and verbal violence – neither are ever okay. Set boundaries about how much overtime you will do at work, that you won’t answer the phone at dinner, or that you won't respond to texts during movies. Set boundaries about how late or how early others can call you.
Having a clearly defined set of boundaries is a crucial foundation in building self-respect. Quietly and calmly enforcing the boundaries you have set is a sign that you are worthy and that you have a solid sense of self-respect.
3. Podcasts and Books. Feed your mind with quality information. Don’t waste your life on reality TV - listen to podcasts on subjects that interest you. Read books on a variety of subjects, including guides to self empowerment, to help you stay on track. The more you fill your mind with quality information, the better you will feel about yourself.
4. Choose Who You Allow Around You. Be very discerning about who you let around you. Don’t hang out with negative people, people who treat you unkindly, or people heading down a bad path. Instead surround yourself with positive, kind people who treat you well and are heading in a positive direction.
5. Treat People Kindly. Self-respect is equal parts how you treat yourself and how you treat others. Be kind. It’s easy, it feels good, and it makes those around you feel good. Like attracts like, so if you are kind to others, you will attract kind people to you. Treat yourself kindly, too! Learn to only say nice words to yourself about yourself.
6. Acknowledge your strengths. Self-respect means knowing what you are good at and acknowledging those strengths to yourself. You don’t need to broadcast them to the world – others will see for themselves. No one is good at everything, so rather than focusing on the things you are not so good at and beating yourself up over them, put them in context and pair them with strengths. Maybe you can’t run a 3 minute mile, but you are really good at conjugating verbs in another language, or baking pies, or calming distressed animals. Know what you are good at and embrace those things.
7. Pursue Hobbies. Get some hobbies and pursue them. Hobbies are a way to devote quality time to something you enjoy, which is a sign of self-respect in itself! Blocking off time for yourself to do things that you really enjoy is a way of showing the world that you respect yourself.
8. Dress For You. Only ever dress for yourself! Don’t dress to impress or appease others. Your clothing should make you comfortable, positive, and confident. Dress yourself with respect.
9. Set Standards. Raise the bar high! Set high standards for yourself and for everything in your life, and then work to achieve and maintain those standards. Set standards for behavior you will accept in others and in yourself. You will be amazed at how many people will raise themselves up to meet you, and in the process, the ones that were dragging you down will drop away. The ultimate sign of healthy self-respect is holding yourself to a high standard.
10. Do not engage in gossip. Gossiping is the opposite of holding yourself to a high standard. Gossip is about making yourself feel good by demeaning another person. If you have self-respect are working to build your self-respect, excuse yourself from any conversation that involves gossip. In fact, make a habit of shutting down any conversation that involves gossiping about other people.
“SHE REMEMBERED WHO SHE WAS AND THE GAME CHANGED” LALAH DELIAH
Read more from Corinna on her blog here: https://corinnabsworld.com/